I just had a thought I simply HAD to write you all about...

The hearts a complex thing, at least the emotional version. It has a surprising threshold for suffering, and unlimited potential for love. But, rather than measure them separately as one would hope it would, it measures them more like a graph, or so I believe...

The more unbearable suffering one endures, the more it takes to become that much happier. So, if you've led a miserable existence full of agony and horrors the likes of which can bear no description, then it likely takes a truly meaningful moment just to smile. Whereas if you've led what now could be described as a "normal" life, with things recovering decently from whatever travesties may occur (and adjusting for personal perspective on both, of course), then understanding the shadow that bears down on some can be difficult.

But this leads to one interesting thought that I feel is long overdue to share.

It is no secret that I've professed love to many, and broken many hearts. Over the course of my growth, I've been through many accelerated phases, and Well, mistakes that have cosy others dearly have been made.

I guess what I'm trying to say, is some people have mental fortress, complex and organized like a labyrinthine filing cabinet that only they know the coding for. Not I.

My heart may not be organized, and I still blink stupidly at the coding. But I know that there is not a face I can picture that does not stir warm emotions, and awaken voids to be filled.

To any I've loved, I don't think it ever died.

It's not meant to harm, sting, or dig up anything buried.

I just have to admit it to myself that I'm an asshole for what I've done, and I'll die a man with many names to whisper. Hope my lungs can handle that last breath...